By admin, 11 May, 2022

Sure, the site looks like trash, but there are already useful features that are more or less functional. We currently have the fact sheet for "Your Mom Is A Slutty Wizard" up, you can find out if the album is available for streaming and or purchase at draculafactory.hearnow.com, are encouraged to read our (sincerely composed and soberly edited) Dedications and Acknowledgements Page, marvel at the shamelessness of allowing such a poorly styled, straight-up canned site to exist, and much more! Kidding aside, you can expect to see a literal metric fuckton of material (a technical, IT/CMS term indicating tensile strength, volume, and satisfyingly apocolyptic girth) appearing on here over the next several weeks. I thought I might share the INVALUABLE AND GLORIOUS treasures you can expect to find on here in the coming days. That's totally hip and modern, right? Who doesn't love classic, 95' era hypertext markup language unordered lists? Only those who will be EATEN. To that end, you will soon be able to:

  • Find our comprehensive press kit and media portal
  • Listen to our ALL-NEW (to read: "currently being spliced together") 1970's-styled radio porno trailer
  • Hear OUR SPECIFICALLY SELECTED excerpts and teaser tracks -  regardless of our actual release status through our distributror
  • Read our semi-functional news/blogroll (devoted exclusively to your mom), which you are (obviously) currently engaging with
  • Read, watch, listen, and view tons of content about the making of the album, including production videos, AS WELL AS previously *unreleased* secret documents that reveal the REAL TRUTH behind the album's structure
  • Will be able to view excerpts of the digital artbook (and maybe even be able to buy a digital version of said item... hey, we can dream, right)
  • See and hear tons of videos and stuff from people who influenced the creation of the album (and other classic gaming related nostalgia)
  • Taste true horror as you eat electric death fired directly from laser penises
  • ... AND MUCH MOAR! (mebbe)
Website Under Construction
Wed, 05/04/2022 - 02:14

Yes: we are completely aware that our website is an abominable tragedy of trashy-looking, buggy, slowly-changing, utterly-fugly, acme-designed stock grotesqueness. We are working on it, and the site should begin to get someplace resembling a presentable shape over the next few weeks. Drupal changed a lot from 7.0 to 9.0, and we have a lot of stuff planned, so that's going to take some time to roll out.