By admin, 11 May, 2022

Sure, the site looks like trash, but there are already useful features that are more or less functional. We currently have the fact sheet for "Your Mom Is A Slutty Wizard" up, you can find out if the album is available for streaming and or purchase at draculafactory.hearnow.com, are encouraged to read our (sincerely composed and soberly edited) Dedications and Acknowledgements Page, marvel at the shamelessness of allowing such a poorly styled, straight-up canned site to exist, and much more! Kidding aside, you can expect to see a literal metric fuckton of material (a technical, IT/CMS term indicating tensile strength, volume, and satisfyingly apocolyptic girth) appearing on here over the next several weeks. I thought I might share the INVALUABLE AND GLORIOUS treasures you can expect to find on here in the coming days. That's totally hip and modern, right? Who doesn't love classic, 95' era hypertext markup language unordered lists? Only those who will be EATEN. To that end, you will soon be able to:

  • Find our comprehensive press kit and media portal
  • Listen to our ALL-NEW (to read: "currently being spliced together") 1970's-styled radio porno trailer
  • Hear OUR SPECIFICALLY SELECTED excerpts and teaser tracks -  regardless of our actual release status through our distributror
  • Read our semi-functional news/blogroll (devoted exclusively to your mom), which you are (obviously) currently engaging with
  • Read, watch, listen, and view tons of content about the making of the album, including production videos, AS WELL AS previously *unreleased* secret documents that reveal the REAL TRUTH behind the album's structure
  • Will be able to view excerpts of the digital artbook (and maybe even be able to buy a digital version of said item... hey, we can dream, right)
  • See and hear tons of videos and stuff from people who influenced the creation of the album (and other classic gaming related nostalgia)
  • Taste true horror as you eat electric death fired directly from laser penises
  • ... AND MUCH MOAR! (mebbe)
FIRST DEMO REEL LIVE!
Wed, 06/22/2022 - 17:57

As we struggle with the endless darkness of dealing with drupal 9 (hi: FUCK YOU DRUPAL 9: YOU PIECE OF UNSPEAKABLE SHIT! Tnx - The Mngmnt.), we are pleased to announce that our first DEMO REEL is now live. This is a much better experience than just listening to excerpts on the buy page (at least, I hope so). 

Demo Reel With Seth

Website Links:
Thu, 06/16/2022 - 23:47

We're sorry the main navbar (the not hamburger menu navbar) that appears on the homepage links to a page that links to the target page; we're working on resolving this as soon as possible, but it still works, so please cope with it till we can figure out what the living unholy fuck is wrong!!! LOL! Thanks! -The Mngmnt. 

"Slutty Wizard" Now Available on Spotify!
Sat, 05/21/2022 - 21:19

Great news today: "Your Mom Is A Slutty Wizard" is now available on Spotify Visit draculafactory.hearnow.com for up to the minute availabilities as part of our rolling release.

Your Mom Is A Slutty Wizard RELEASED
Fri, 05/13/2022 - 22:56

As of Friday the 13th of May, “Your Mom Is A Slutty Wizard” is finally available via iTunes and Apple Music. Distribution across all internet music platforms to roll out over the coming weeks. 

Following a lengthy post-production process, we are pleased to announce that our latest album, “Your Mom Is A Slutty Wizard” has gone live and is available for purchase across all of Apple Music’s platforms. Our publisher tells us to expect a rolling release over the coming 2-3 weeks before it is available on other popular streaming services and e-tail outlets (Amazon, Spotify, etc.). 

Website Features, Current and Planned
Wed, 05/11/2022 - 02:22

Sure, the site looks like trash, but there are already useful features that are more or less functional. We currently have the fact sheet for "Your Mom Is A Slutty Wizard" up, you can find out if the album is available for streaming and or purchase at draculafactory.hearnow.com, are encouraged to read our (sincerely composed and soberly edited) Dedications and Acknowledgements Page, marvel at the shamelessness of allowing such a poorly styled, straight-up canned site to exist, and much more!

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