Download The OFFICIAL Press Kit

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This is our complete press kit as of the 2022-06-28. It contains everything on the website that any journalist, podcaster, reviewer, freelancer, depraved lunatic, or editor should need. It's got our current news release, contact page, fact sheet, and our press-focused articles about me and the album, as well as the pages where I explain the album. These are all in printable, pdf format.

This means that the files in the zip archive are therefore suitable for using valuable office laser printer toner cartridges and the skins of tens of thousands of baby trees to print 1,000's of copies, which you should then glue to every surface you encounter in both your professional and personal life, permanently poster-gluing these broad mosaics ANYWHERE where they might be seen. This will inspire the likeminded individuals encountering your salty leavings to begin the process anew, repeating it, and spreading the news until it covers all surfaces viewed by people in the entire world. BECOME THE VIRUS. IT IS YOUR DESTINY.

Brutal realities aside, this is especially true if you (like myself) want to teach the world the way to Shell Beach, where we are having the "Poor Poor Mr. Hand" annual memorial cutting problem sacrificial holiday party (every day, in the break room, by my bathroom, Shell Beach, Beachstreet 666 North, Shell Beach, 66666-89102). JOIN US.

Kidding aside: It also includes camera-ready art of the album cover, and some old pictures of me. Should you require more (or if you would like to request a review copy of the album itself, or wish to arrange for an interview) please don't hesitate to contact me using the information on this website or in the release itself.

Address all inquiries to:
Seth "Fingers" Flynn Barkan

The Press Kit (19.24 MB)